Well I’ve had a record 3-4 months of relative bodily peace. And just when you THINK “man, I’m feeling good” it’s fucking back. It’s back. And I’m a little depressed about it. As strong as I try to get myself in between these moments, I find myself kind of panicky. PLEASE GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE FOREVER.  So now what.  I’ve been seeing my new doctor every week since July. He has gotten me off of one of the many drugs I’ve been taking. He’s been trying to lower the dosage of another drug. Is this flare up a coincidence or not. I do know ALL the drugs I’ve been taking have been making me sick AND not working. My muscles were so weak I thought something so bad was now happening to me. Turns out the drug I recently got off of is used for epilepsy and it is intended to weaken muscles. Well I had no idea. Side effects of the other drugs…tiredness, weight gain, vision impairment, intestinal problems, dry mouth, and I’m sure there’s more. So now I wait it out. I’ve been lying on a heating pad. Hottest one I’ve ever laid on. It temporarily relives some of the pain. I try to stay so busy….like cleaning out my closet til 1AM…that my pain doesn’t know what’s up or down. Fingers crossed that this flare up won’t go into a THIRD WEEK!!

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